Mixed thoughts. Messed up minds.
Nothing is right. Nobody is telling the truth.
Everybody is lying. Nobody to trust.
Nobody that does trust. Nothing is right.
Movement slows down. People backstab.
Best friends turn into worst enemies.
People feel out of place. Nobody knows.
Everybody is confused. Nothing is right.
Or is it?

nobody in this fucking world is being what
we would actually consider a good friend.
everybody is a backstabber. me included.
i have backstabbed. i admit it. at least unlike
those preppy bitches im not afraid to. i`ve done
some wrong things. said bad things. and i take
them back. if it weren't for you guys, i would
probably cry myself to sleep each night. but i say
now thanks, for making me strong and not giving
a fucking shit about anything anymore.
maybe i`ve changed but have you guys ever thought
that maybe for one second it wasn't me? maybe it
was actually you. maybe all your criticism made
me this way. maybe it was you guys who made me
get up each morning and looking in the stupid god
damn mirror and wish i looked like one of you. maybe
it wasn't me, maybe i didn't change myself.. maybe you
did everything. maybe it becasue of you that everyday
when i go to school i wish i didn' t have to see all of your
faces with those perfect smiles and all your perfect make up
you put on. maybe i wish that i could look pretty for once. maybe
i just want to have a true friend that all fo you have. maybe i want
to have a awesome fashion sense like you and i can
go along with you guys. maybe i could fit it. maybe i wouldn't be
an outcast. maybe... just maybe.. i could be liked by everybody.
maybe for once i could be one of you.. but i would never want
one of you to be me, because if you were me for a fucking day
you wouldn't be able to fucking live throught all the lies
and all the fucking trators.. and having to feel ugly every
single fucking day of your fucking life. 

i don't get you at all...you say you like me.. "a lot" you weren't too shy to ask out that bitc* last year but now you're saying that maybe im different? you come up to me every single fcking day.. and you act like you want to actually be with me.. but then you tell other people..i dunno. Why won't you just do it?

All i fcking want is somebody i know will always be there for me.. you know somebody who wouldn't care what you did wrong in that day or your life time.. but somebody who when you're in a fight with your best friends the ones who you would normally tell everything to.. you had somebody to turn to.. and this somebody was someone who loved you no matter what happened. you could trust them and when in your stupid world of darkness.. they would be that little light that would help you out? When your on the highest point in your life and you suddenly fall.. fall high from the sky.. you just know that he would get down there and catch you before you hit rock bottom? i`m waiting for this.. and i just want you to be he one.

i don't think you seriously understand... but.

and though i may not know what love truly is.. i believe that right now from what what i know.. i truly actually love you _ _ _ _.